writing tips

Top Five Ways Book Editors Can Help Authors

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Top Five Ways Book Editors Can Help Authors

by Karin Beery

Freelance editing is an interesting profession—we’re essentially hired by authors to point out everything they’re doing wrong (and hopefully some things they’re doing right). Our goal is to help them polish their manuscripts so they’re ready for publication or submission. Here are the top five ways we can help them do that.*

  1. Edit to your preferences. If you don’t like the way a character looks or talks, change it. If you don’t like the Oxford comma, leave it out. If you’re okay with swearing in a Christian novel, keep it in there. You’re the editor. You should be able to decide what stays and what goes.
  2. Edit everything. Don’t worry if you’ve never read a political thriller. Fiction rules are fiction rules, so you should be able to translate your romance-editing experience into any novel situation. The same is true for grammar rules. They don’t change, so it doesn’t matter if you never read fiction; go ahead and edit that novel the same way you would a doctoral thesis.
  3. Look to the classics. Some of the most popular, best-known books are the classics. Clearly those authors knew what they were doing. If you get stuck, open Mark Twain, Charlotte Bronte, or Francis Bacon—see what they did well, then edit your client’s manuscripts to match.
  4. Take your time. Good work takes time, and you work hard. It’s okay to take a few days off here and there. Your author can’t publish or submit until he gets the manuscript back from you anyway, so you do you. The manuscript will be there when you’re ready to work.
  5. Get comfortable with your client. Writing is a personal art form, so the editing process can be emotional and often difficult for an author. The best way to help your author feel comfortable is to treat her like family—forget formalities and be brutally honest. Pretend like you’re at Thanksgiving dinner and just say what needs to be said. No filter required.

Mastering these five techniques will help you help authors achieve their publishing dreams!

*APRIL FOOL’S DAY! Please, please, don’t listen to me today!

Owner of Write Now Editing, Karin Beery is an active member of American Christian Fiction Writers and the Christian Editor Network, where she teaches several editing classes through the PEN Institute and serves as the coordinator for the Christian Editor Connection. She is the Managing Editor of Guiding Light Women’s Fiction, an imprint of Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. Her sophomore novel, Practically Married, is a 2020 INSPY Award semi-finalist.

Dear Editor, Should I Capitalize . . .

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Dear Editor, Should I Capitalize . . .

by Iola Goulton

I have previously blogged about whether we should capitalize deity pronouns (it’s the publisher’s decision—see http://thechristianpen.com/dear-editor-should-writers-capitalize-deity-pronouns/) or whether we should capitalize nicknames (only if it’s unique—see http://thechristianpen.com/dear-editor-should-i-capitalize-nicknames/).

What else do we capitalize or not capitalize?

Brand Names

Brand names are capitalized to be consistent with the brand trademark. We therefore use standard capitalization for Samsung, but nonstandard for iPhone.

Christian Terms

Most dictionaries only include basic Christian terms, which can leave Christian authors and editors scratching their heads when it comes to capitalizing terms referring to God. The Christian Writer’s Manual of Style includes a comprehensive section on capitalization of Christian terms. If you edit for Christian writers, The Christian Writer’s Manual of Style is a must-have.

Individual publishers will have their own style guide. If so, that will prevail. I once worked with a client who didn’t capitalize any term referring to the devil. He said it was because he didn’t want to give the devil any honor (although that’s not why we capitalize proper nouns). I have seen a niche Christian publisher with the same policy.

Humor or Emphasis

Capitals are occasionally used to indicate humor, irony, or for emphasis:

  • The memory of The Ice Cream Incident sucked her confidence.

Racial or Ethnic Identity

Terms referring to racial or ethnic identity are usually capitalized. For example, my background is Welsh and English, and I’m a New Zealander (colloquially, a Kiwi). These are all capitalized: a kiwi (lowercase) is a brown flightless bird.

The exception to this rule has typically been when discussing color: style guides such as The Chicago Manual of Style have historically advised writers to use lowercase for terms such as black, brown, and white (see CMOS 8.38).

However, Chicago (https://cmosshoptalk.com/2020/06/22/black-and-white-a-matter-of-capitalization/) and Associated Press (https://apnews.com/article/9105661462) now both state that black is lowercase when referring to a color, but capitalized when referring to a person or people group who identify as Black.

Note that writers should refer to Black people, not Blacks (which is considered derogatory).

Titles

Titles are capitalized when referred to in full. For example:

  • Queen Elizabeth, but the queen (or the Queen in the Commonwealth).
  • President Abraham Lincoln, but the president.

A title used alone may be capitalized when used in direct address. For example:

  • Ladies and gentlemen, the President.
  • Yes, Captain.

Other Words

Other words are capitalized in line with dictionary usage.

Style Sheets

If you’re an author who is planning to self-publish or an editor working with authors who plan to self-publish, then it will pay to keep a record of which terms are capitalized and why. This is commonly called a style sheet, and will include common editorial decisions such as:

Iola Goulton of Christian Editing Services is a New Zealand-based freelance editor specializing in Christian fiction. Iola holds a degree in marketing and has been editing since 2012. She is a Gold member of The Christian PEN, and Romance Writers of New Zealand, and manages the Beyond the Borders zone of American Christian Fiction Writers. When she’s not working, Iola is usually reading, writing her next book review, or avoiding working on her first novel. Iola lives in the beautiful Bay of Plenty in New Zealand with her husband, son, and cat.

Website: www.christianediting.co.nz or follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter.

 

Our Health and Well-Being

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Our Health and Well-Being

by Susan K. Stewart

Well-Being

Editing is a sedentary activity. Many of us spend four to five hours at our desks each day. We have to make conscious decisions to take care of ourselves.

Our well-being goes beyond our physical health. We also need to care for our emotional and spiritual health. If any of these three are lacking, we aren’t at our best mentally to attend the details of editing. Healthy mind, soul, and body are achieved with the same three components: exercise, diet, and rest. Let’s explore each one.

Exercise

Some editors and writers set a timer to remember to get up and move. Walking to the refrigerator or finding our cell phone to answer text messages shouldn’t be considered exercise. Sorry. I’m talking about a real exercise routine.

We may have had to change our exercise routines due to COVID restrictions. For example, the restrictions at my gym make it difficult to get my workout. But working our muscles and getting our hearts pumping can still be accomplished. A friend of mine meets with her exercise group through Facebook Live. She says it’s not the same as being together in one place, but they are still holding each other accountable.

Vigorous activity not only keeps the muscles toned and the heart pumping, it also releases endorphins needed for a positive outlook. And a brighter outlook helps us to think more clearly.

Diet

Low-carb/high-carb. Meat/no meat. Gluten free/gluten fine. There are as many diet philosophies as there are foods. Your body knows best. But there’s little argument about the types of foods we should eat. Fruits, vegetables, and protein are the basics of a good diet. The closer to the source (fresh vs. canned, whole vs. processed), the more nutritious the food. Processed foods have all kinds have additives, including hidden sugars and the processing cooks out many of the nutrients of food.

How does a good diet help us? Healthy foods promote healthy brains, which then think better. While comfort foods may seem to help when times are hard, consistent healthy eating keeps us ready for whatever may come our way—a big editing job or family emergency.

Rest

As at-home workers, it’s tempting to work more hours, even into the evening during our usual resting time. Have you done this? Then, the next morning looked at what you’ve done and found it less than optimal?

When we encroach into our resting time, we rob our bodies of valuable time to renew. Resting allows time for healing and rejuvenation. In addition to daily rest, we also need at least one full day of rest each week. If God can take a day off, so can we.

Another pitfall of working from home is the temptation to work either too much or not enough. Working too much can deplete our systems of vital energy needed to function at our best. Working too little can be as problematic. When we succumb to procrastination, we often find ourselves in the stressful situation of trying to catch up to meet a deadline. The vicious cycle begins—work longer hours, skip exercising, eat quick meals at our desk. Our bodies suffer; our work suffers.

When our bodies are functioning well, our emotions will be in balance. We will be able to handle even the hard days better.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, … You are serving the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:23–24 ESV). Our jobs may not be in the limelight, but we have the same mandate as the best-selling author: work heartily (from the heart) for the Lord. We are serving him. To do this we need to be our best—body, mind, and soul.

Susan K. Stewart, Nonfiction Managing Editor with Elk Lake Publishing, teaches, writes, and edits nonfiction. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen, Preschool: At What Cost?, Harried Homeschoolers Handbook, and the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. Her latest book, Donkey Devos: Listening to Your Donkey When God Speaks is scheduled to be released spring 2021. You can learn more at her website www.practicalinspirations.com.

 

Dear Editor, Should I Capitalize Nicknames?

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Dear Editor, Should I Capitalize Nicknames?

by Iola Goulton

A nickname, epithet, sobriquet, or soubriquet is a descriptive word or phrase used instead of or as part of a person’s name. We capitalize people’s names, so it makes sense that nicknames are also capitalized.

However, terms of affection or endearment are not capitalized. The challenge is therefore to decide whether the term you’re using is a nickname or a term of affection.

In general, a word is considered a nickname if it refers to one specific person. Famous examples include Twiggy, Babe Ruth, Capability Brown, and the Iron Lady. You may or may not know the given name of these people, but you know who they are and why they are famous. These terms are therefore nicknames or sobriquets, as they refer to one specific person. However, someone might be described as looking like Twiggy, or acting like the Iron Lady.

In contrast, terms of endearment or affection such as “dear” or “son” are not unique. The Christian Writer’s Manual of Style considers such names to be terms of affection:

“… unless they are used so often as to have the force of a nickname.”

So when might a term of endearment become a nickname? For example:

  • If you’re writing biblical fiction that features God, Jesus, and their relationship, then it would be appropriate for God to call Jesus “Son” rather than “son.”
  • If you’re writing a speculative fiction story set in a society with only one male, then his mother might call him “Son” as he would be unique in that setting.
  • If your character was named Sonny, then “Son” would be capitalized because it is a shortened form of his proper name.
  • If you were writing an allegorical novel, then you may capitalize “Son” when referring to the Jesus figure, because we usually capitalize terms referring to God and Jesus. (Editor’s Note: The Christian Writer’s Manual of Style suggests always capitalizing “Son” when referring to Jesus.)

In that final example, capitalizing “Son” will be a subtle hint to readers that this character is the Jesus figure … which is why it’s important not to capitalize “son” if it’s merely being used as a term of endearment. If you do, the reader might read more into the capitalization than intended.

Finally, some nicknames are portmanteau terms, where parts of two names are combined into a single nickname that refers to a specific couple. Examples include Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) and Bennifer (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez).

What examples of nicknames have you found in the books you’ve read or edited?

Iola Goulton of Christian Editing Services is a New Zealand-based freelance editor specializing in Christian fiction. Iola holds a degree in marketing and has been editing since 2012. She is a member of The Christian PEN, Omega Writers, and Romance Writers of New Zealand, and manages the Beyond the Borders zone of American Christian Fiction Writers. When she’s not working, Iola is usually reading, writing her next book review, or avoiding working on her first novel. Iola lives in the beautiful Bay of Plenty in New Zealand with her husband, son, and cat. Website: www.christianediting.co.nz or follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter.

 

Picture the Perfect Person

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Picture the Perfect Person

by Cheri Fields

Writing is a mammoth process. Today let’s look at one of the first steps that helps you “eat the elephant.”

Books are read one reader at a time.

You experience this every day. Even a shared pop phenomenon, if consumed at home, is a private event. Particularly with today’s personal devices, we watch, listen, and play alone more than we share such content with a crowd.

This gives us as writers a power to touch people, individual to individual. Think of it. It’s just me, Cheri, typing on a laptop keyboard, and you–whenever you run across this article, on whatever device you use. Even if thousands of others find this article over the years, it’s still just you and me, right now, that matters.

So, how can I take advantage of this reality?

There is a technique well known in marketing circles that can help you picture your one reader when all you see is a computer screen in front of you: build an avatar or ideal reader in your mind.

I’ve heard that radio stations have long targeted a single person as their ideal demographic and tailor everything about their programming and advertising to her. And anyone worth your time and money will tell you if you aim to reach “everyone,” you end up impacting no one, because it’s impossible to connect deeply with anything designed to be that generic.

Write for someone in your life

Have you heard of Khan Academy video learning? It’s grown far beyond this, but it started out with one man helping his far away cousin understand math. He knew exactly who his audience was, what she needed, and could produce something meant just for her every time he sat down to create something. It’s not surprising, then, that his material connected with many more people than just one girl.

Because, the reality is, even if you don’t match the specifics of that ideal reader, you still feel the personal connection and appreciate the warmth it unconsciously brings to the content.

Use Yourself

Ever since I first created my first social media account, I’ve paid attention to the types of content that make me happy, annoyed, bored, or amazed. I try to replicate the good I personally want and avoid the negative I don’t. For the most part, I target moms in situations much like mine—along with nerds of all stripes. When I write for moms, I either write for myself today or for the mom I was when I was just starting out.

Think about this: What single individual do you want to impact with your words? What do they need that you can give them? How can you best meet them where they are right now?

Cheri Fields is a homeschooling science nerd who loves the power of words to shape lives. She got into editing to have more high quality books to read both to her seven children and for herself than she could write alone. The bigger the idea, the more exciting things get. You can find her at cherifields.com

Five Ways Realism Ruins Good Fiction

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Five Ways Realism Ruins Good Fiction

by Karin Beery

Let’s be honest—unless it’s vital to a plot, most people don’t want to read about a character’s bowel movements, mouthy kids, or hangnails. Often authors include mundane details to make their characters seem more realistic, but that realism doesn’t always come across well in books. Today we’re going to quickly look at five things you can reduce/eliminate from your manuscript to help strengthen your story.

  1. Small talk. If you were raised before cell phones, your calls probably started like this:
    “Hello, this is the Van Burens.”
    “Hi, is your mom there?”
    “May I ask who’s calling?”
    “Mr. Smith from the insurance agency.”
    “One moment, please.”It’s polite and informative, but in a book, it takes up too much space and slows down the story. You don’t necessarily want your characters to be rude, you don’t need a hello/goodbye in every conversation, and unless the weather is important to the plot, you don’t need to show people discussing it.
  2. Introspection. Most people overthink things, be it every decision they make or only those related to a specific subject. That’s normal. But it doesn’t work well in books. It’s okay—even expected—to have characters reflect on situations, but after they do it once, move on. You don’t need to remind your readers over and over again, nor do you need to show the characters thinking about every situation they experience. When you repeat thoughts/scenes/reactions, you give readers a reason to skip pages. Once they start to skip, they’ll keep skipping (so don’t give them a reason).
  3. Well, so, okay, etc. Just because people say it in real life doesn’t mean it needs to appear in your dialogue. It’s amazing how many times well and so appear in manuscripts when authors start their sentences with them—they can show up hundreds of times! That’s a lot of words that could be used to show something more important to the plot. The same is true for filler words such as like, okay, um, uh-huh. Leaving them out won’t make the dialogue feel unnatural but including too many of them will slow the pace and stand out as unnecessary.
  4. Step-by-step instructions. Every morning I wake up, let the dogs out, feed them, pack my husband’s lunch, then start breakfast. Not many people care, and they shouldn’t. It’s boring. So is explaining how to put the key in the ignition, start the car, throw it into reverse, pull out of the driveway, and slide it into drive before heading into town. Whether we want to or not, we live orderly lives—you often can’t do one thing (drive into town) without doing another thing first (starting the car). Readers don’t need to see each of those steps though. If it’s important to show a character’s nighttime routine, show it once. Then trust your reader to remember it and move on to other important details of the story.
  5. Repetition. Similar to #4 but slightly different, readers don’t need to see character repeating themselves. Yes, we’ve all had experiences where we had to tell the same story over and over again, but you don’t want to do that on the page. Remember #2? When you start repeating things, readers are tempted to skip pages. Don’t give them a reason! Find creative ways to convey what’s happening in a scene without actually repeating every detail. Your readers will thank you.

Yes, you want your characters to be realistic, but too much realism can slow down a story and kill the intensity. When you look for and cut back on these five things, you’ll naturally tighten your story without sacrificing characterization.

Karin’s sophomore novel—Practically Married—releases October 2019! Sign up for her monthly newsletter and you’ll receive sneak peeks, behind-the-scenes stories, and pictures of her cats and dogs. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for writing tips, updates on Guiding Light, and more!

 

Action Verbs Instantly Stimulate the Brain

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Action Verbs Instantly Stimulate the Brain

by Lora Doncea

Here is an intriguing fact. The human brain is instantly stimulated when we read action verbs—more than any other words. We unconsciously react to “jumped” and “ran” more than verbs such as “went” or “pondered.” We respond even less to nouns. Too many non-visual words can slow our reading and comprehension. Here are two scientific studies on this topic (they are technical but very informative):

Concepts Are More than Percepts: The Case of Action Verbs
“PLTC activity for action verbs reflects the retrieval of modality-independent representations of event concepts, or the grammatical types associated with them, i.e., verbs. … Moreover, their response was higher for verbs than nouns, regardless of visual-motion features.”

The Time Course of Action and Action-word Comprehension in the Human Brain as Revealed by Neurophysiology
“These results suggest that the early activation seen for action-words in the ERP reflects an essential part of the action-word recognition system.”

This is an automatic brain response, so writers and editors should intentionally utilize action verbs to capture readers’ attention.

Here are a couple of quick tips:

1. Replace dull verbs with vivid action verbs
Instead of: “She decided to try to get away from the man in the alley by hitting him and then crying out for help.”
Reword to: “She punched the man in the face and tore down the alley, screaming for help.”

2. Put verbs at the front of a line, not at the middle or end
Instead of: “A brownish-black bear who was enormous and terrifying came out of the woods and rushed straight toward the boy.”
Reword to: “An enormous bear crashed through the woods and rushed straight toward the boy.”

3. Keep verbs with their subjects
Instead of: “The two cars almost—if the drivers didn’t slam on their brakes—collided.”
Reword to: “The two cars almost collided—but the drivers slammed on their brakes just in time.”

4. Write the verb’s intended purpose—that is what we will remember
Instead of: “The DEA didn’t want to forget the man’s face.”
(The brain registers “forget,” which is not what we want the DEA to do.)
Reword to: “The DEA determined to remember the man’s face.”
(The brain registers “remember.”)

5. Remove all unnecessary words to snag readers with the verb
Instead of: “After a long, freezing cold day filled with drizzle and fog which clouded the mind and made thinking difficult, the editor dashed into the warm coffee shop to work.”
Reword to: “The editor dashed into the warm coffee shop to work, unaffected by the freezing cold weather.”

Subconsciously they will be hooked, and your writing will make an impact, literally, in their brains.

Lora thoroughly enjoys editing fiction and nonfiction books for Christian authors. She views editing as a ministry, partnering with authors to make their writing polished and successful. She also writes a blog of “Savvy Writer Tips” to help writers spot and fix common problems. Read them on her website: EditsbyLora.com or on Facebook: SavvyWriterTips. Lora’s varied life experiences help her when editing. She’s been a recorded Christian musician, a computer and web programmer, a college teacher, and a Bible study leader. She spent years oil painting and loves photography. She recently exchanged life in the big city for a cabin in the mountains where she savors gorgeous scenery, diverse wildlife, and peaceful times with family and friends.

5 Content Editing Tips for Promotional Materials

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5 Content Editing Tips for Promotional Materials

by Karin Beery

As professional editors, we know that each level of editing requires a special skill set. The same is true for editing fiction or nonfiction; what works in a novel won’t necessarily work in a Bible study. The same is also true for business or promotional material. With many authors self-publishing, why not tune up your copy editing (not copyediting) skills?

With the affordability and ease of websites like Vistaprint, Canva, and other design sites, many authors and business owners are writing and producing their own business copy and materials. Being able to edit that content allows you to provide yet another service to your clients.

Here are five tips for editing promotional content:

  1. Find the hook. Just like books and articles, you want to start the promotional material with a hook. Don’t open with the date and time of an event; if the reader has a conflict on that day, she’ll toss the material without reading it. If, however, you hook her with the promise of learning the secret to making $100,000 in one year, she might consider changing her schedule.
  2. Focus on the audience. Promotional material isn’t really about the services or products a person can provide; it’s about how those services and products will make the reader’s life better. Talk about how the reader’s life will be easier, not about the company/author.
  3. Remember the Ws. Who, what, where, when, why, and how. You’d be surprised by how many people send out material without a date, time, or location.
  4. K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, silly. Promotional material is short. Businesses/authors will often try to cram in as many details as possible. Don’t. Provide just enough information to pique a person’s interest. Then, if they want to know more, they can call or email with questions.
  5. Include the call to action. Including the date and time of an event isn’t enough. Make sure your client includes a call to action—Join me Friday! Stop in for a free consult! Call us today!—and make sure the invitation is clear.

Whether you’re helping an author promote a book signing or reviewing blog posts for the local chamber of commerce, knowing these copy writing techniques will help you edit it into clear, concise copy that will grab the reader’s attention.

Owner of Write Now Editing, Karin Beery also writes contemporary fiction with a healthy dose of romance. When she’s not writing or editing, she teaches Substantive Editing for Fiction and Romance Editing through the PEN Institute, as well as serving as Managing Editor for Guiding Light Women’s Fiction. You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or at her website www.writenowedits.com.

One Quick Tip for Strengthening Fiction

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One Quick Tip for Strengthening Fiction

by Karin Beery

Today I didn’t go to the zoo. I didn’t jump out of an airplane. I didn’t compose a symphony, skip stones across the lake, commit a crime, build a snowman, get married, draw a picture, or milk a cow. I didn’t even buy a new pair of shoes. I could fill pages with details of all the things I didn’t do, but that’s not very interesting, is it?

Then why do novelists continue to talk about what their characters didn’t do?

One of the things I often see when I’m editing is an explanation of what’s not happening. For example,

The red-head walked by, her skirt swaying. Bobby wanted to ask her out, but he didn’t.

Sue stared out the window. She thought about going outside, but she didn’t.

Mr. Smith pulled into the driveway and sighed. He could have driven to Canada, faked his death, and married a nineteen-year-old cocktail waitress, but he didn’t.

I understand the motivation behind this kind of writing—to show the struggle between the characters’ desires and their realities—but it doesn’t actually help readers connect with the characters or reveal information about them. In fact, it pulls readers out of the moment to tell them something they can already see (we know Bobby didn’t ask her out because we see that he didn’t).

Instead, show what the characters are doing. Bobby’s not asking the girl out, so what’s really going on in his head?

The red-head walked by, her skirt swaying. Bobby wanted to ask her out, but instead he smiled, plotting his next “accidental” meeting.

Sue stared out the window. She thought about going outside, dreaming of the cool breeze tickling her skin. But the thrill of the fresh air couldn’t push back the panic rising in her chest—she needed the security of four sturdy walls.

Mr. Smith pulled into the driveway and sighed, forcing the wedding band back onto his finger.

Not only do these alternatives show what the characters are doing, they encourage the reader to keep reading so they can find out why the characters did those things! How many times has Bobby “accidentally” walked by the red-head? Why is Sue afraid to go outside? What’s going on in Mr. Smith’s life that he takes off his wedding ring when he’s away from the house?

When you show what the characters are doing instead of telling what they’re not doing, you pull the reader deeper into your story. You strengthen that connection and give readers a reason to keep reading! The next time you edit your manuscript, look for those places where you focus on the “didn’t.” By quickly refocusing to the “doing,” you can strengthen your story and keep your readers engaged!


Owner of Write Now Editing, Karin Beery also writes contemporary fiction with a healthy dose of romance. When she’s not writing or editing, she teaches Substantive Editing for Fiction and Romance Editing through the PEN Institute, as well as serving as Managing Editor for Guiding Light Women’s Fiction. You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or at her website www.writenowedits.com.

 

Keep Readers Engaged with One Simple Trick

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Keep Readers Engaged with One Simple Trick

by Karin Beery

“You look good … for someone your age.”

Left-handed compliments. Those comments that start off well but end with an insult. You’re expecting one thing but get something completely different. That’s recently become a trend—and a problem—in fiction. I call it the Active Telling syndrome.

Here’s what happens: the chapter opens with the hero skipping up the front steps of his home after a morning jog. He paces the porch, cooling off as sweat soaks through his shirt.

Active, yes?

But then he sits down to stretch and thinks about everything that happened the night before. He remembers being embarrassed when his truck wouldn’t start and he showed up late for his first date, but he also remembers how understanding the heroine was. She looked amazing as she talked about the upcoming Christmas dance at the school, and somehow the hero found himself agreeing to build decorations and chaperone the event.

Well, it’s time to get a shower so he can make it to work on time.

HOLD THE PHONE!

The hero and the heroine had their first date? Why isn’t the reader seeing that??* And now there’s an excuse for the boy and girl to spend more time together? How does he feel about that?? Why is the author telling all of this instead of showing the reader what happened??

That is the trend of Active Telling: when a scene/chapter opens with the character doing something, but then quickly drops the reader into the character’s head, where it’s nothing but memories and reflections.

The easiest way to spot this is to check for white space at the beginning of a scene. If it starts with several paragraphs, there’s a good chance the author is actively telling. There are two main ways to handle Active Telling:

  1. Show it. If the told information is important enough to the story that the author has to include if for the reader to understand what’s going on, then it needs to be shown. Let the reader experience the first date with the characters, not just think about it after it happened.
  2. Delete it. If the told information is not important to the story (or if it’s repeated information), cut it. The reader doesn’t need to see everything the characters think about throughout the day. If the Active Telling isn’t moving the story forward, it can go.

When you know how to identify Active Telling, you can help your authors create stronger scene openings that will keep readers engaged, which will keep them reading!

*I’m not advocating for the use of multiple question marks at the end of a sentence; I’m merely hoping to convey how frustrating this type of scene opening can be.

A lifelong resident of Michigan, Karin Beery writes contemporary fiction with a healthy dose of romance. Represented by literary agent Steve Hutson at Word Wise Media, her first book releases September 15 from Elk Lake Publishing. When she’s not writing fiction, she edits at Write Now Editing. When she’s not doing either of those, she teaches Substantive Editing for Fiction and Romance Editing through the PEN Institute. You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or at her website, www.karinbeery.com.

Click here to sign up for her monthly newsletter and receive the FREE, unpublished prologue to Summer Plans and Other Disasters!

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